How can I not be attached to my intentions?

In the beginning of class, many times we bring the hands to the heart, and set an intention. I speak many times of having intentions, working on them but not being attached to the results.

Today Julia asked me, “How can I not be attached to my intentions?”
“What would an intention be?” I asked her and she replied “ Walking, playing the piano…”
These are more like Goals than intentions. Goals are good to have and it is mostly to the goals that we do not want to be attached.

When you set intentions, at a beginning of class or in life in general, it is best if you look for small actions you can do. So no more New Years resolutions, or lifetime resolutions, but smaller, short term actions. Examples may be, “I am setting an intention to practice meditation for 20 min every day for the next 2 weeks”, or “this week I intend to add 5 more minutes of breath work every day”. It might be “I intend on practicing more patience this weekend with my relative that is visiting.”

As you can see there is always a time frame. It is important to set this so we can follow through. It’s always possible to extend it when needed. These intentions are manageable, they are things that while may be difficult for you to do, you know you can do them. Intentions are form of actions (or non actions, like not reacting to the annoying response my friend will tell me); they are small manageable things that may add up to a bigger picture.

It‘s great to have the big picture in mind, but then you need to let it go. Enjoy the process; be with every moment of practice fully. Then one day, maybe the big picture, the goal, happens.

I would like to be enlightened. If this is my goal, and my intention, nothing will happen. I need to decide on this goal, find out what I need to do in order to get there, these are my intentions, and then allow the goal to sit aside, knowing that I might achieve it and may not, and either way is fine.

May all your intentions develop into the fulfillment of the big picture.
Love, Doron

Not taking it personally / about anger and projection

Jen was in tears.
Bob was complaining “ You just don’t do enough, I feel like you just don’t care anymore” His voice strong, a bit irritated.
“I am not sure what you mean”, Jen replied. “ I do all I can, I really always try and make sure you have dinner ready, I rush home from work…” Yes yes, but it seems to be like you are doing this cause you have to. There were times when it seemed to be more out of love”.
The conversation continued a while longer. It seemed that no matter what Jen’s reply was, Bob was not happy. He kept pushing and demanding.
This situation repeated over and over again. Jen consciously tried to see what she could do better. But it did not seem to matter. Bob just wasn’t happy.

At times the complaints or dissatisfaction of a person, are not necessarily completely related to what they are complaining about. Many times one might find, that there is a certain dissatisfaction in ones life, a frustration with a situation, something that causes irritability, and since the person might not be able to deal with it, they might find their release by “taking it out” on someone else.

In any situation when I am being “attacked”, I try to see what truth it holds for me. Then, if there is anything I can implement, change or learn from this, great, and if it seems that the person complaining is just not realizing that I am doing my best and it cannot be better than this, I try to find compassion; compassion towards the person that is unhappy with the situation.

It is extremely hard to be able to hear criticism and not take it personally. How can I not? They are speaking to me, even calling my name. The key word here is They. It is how they see things; maybe it’s true and maybe not. It is what they project on to me, and not necessarily what is.

If this is a situation that persists, I find that a talk is needed. Approaching with love and a sense of compassion. Maybe this person is suffering and that is why they keep criticizing me. I like to present my case as my own suffering. Instead of “you keep criticizing me unfairly”, I would state my feelings “I am feeling hurt and frustrated now, and would like to see if you could help me with this”. There is more likelihood that the person would be willing to listen, and even consider a change. They may need your help in the future with reminders. Do not fear speaking your truth. Speak gently and with kindness. Holding it in can only make it worse in the long run.

May the force be with You!
Love, Doron

LOVE.IT'S EVERYWHERE.

My brother and father were visiting from Japan this past week and now I am left spending a quiet Sunday in our empty two bedroom apartment with my mother. In this silence, I realize how much of an impact they have in our lives. I feel that these precious moments are precious because we are forced to live so far away… this paralysis has made my love for my family so much clearer. This paralysis has given me the opportunity to appreciate every moment I get to share with them, which I had taken for granted in the past.

In my last entry I expressed my confusion with friendships. I now see the mistake I have made is trying to define what a friend ought to be. This injury has limited me physically but has benefited me in opening my eyes to a clearer reality, or what I make reality. Recently I have recognized how amazing people are capable of being.
I received a phone call from a mother of a friend in London who I have not kept in touch with since I left London years ago. She called to let me know I am always in her thoughts and prayers and to never give up.
A man who I have never met who had been in a similar accident called last because he had heard of my story and could not shake the thoughts of what I must be going through.
In December my mother encountered a man who had seen my progress videos on youtube and made it his own personal goal to see me walk and play the cello and piano again. He has taken me in as part of his family and opened up so many opportunities for healing for me.
These are only just a very few of my encounters this past year… VERY few. These are people I barely know, yet they have opened their hearts to me, keeping me in mind, sending me positive energies of love.
The label ‘friend’ is so broad and so general. We are all 'friends', lets act like it. What we need to do is see, feel all the love around us. The amazing power emitted off the people around us need to be recognized and appreciated. The vibration of love is friendship. What we fail to see is that we all share this universal energy, which we contribute to by something as simple as picking up a piece of litter.

We are all surrounded by love, can you see it? You will. Just look closely. Be love(effortlessly).

LOVE.JULIA.

oh friend...

I seem to keep stumbling across this concept of friends over and over in my mind. With paralysis comes many hopeless, lonely times… I’ve been placed in a situation where everything has to be done for me, rarely giving me the time to be alone, yet I find myself lonely in my mind. At times like this I find myself scrolling up and down my contact list searching for that person I can go to, to break down and be comforted, to be understood and be told everything will be ok. How is it that through all the names, a-z that there is no one I can reach out to?

How many people are there who have this friend who they trust with anything and everything? How many of these relationships go beyond petty gossip and shopping? At the end of the day what are friends?

In my opinion a friend is someone you share with, happy times, sad times even energy. A lot of the time I notice relationships where there is a lot more taking than giving, which ends up being draining for one person. So, when do you cut your losses and find a new friend?

How often are you ‘friends’ with people who you know you wouldn’t keep in touch with if you moved a way? A friend that you know you wouldn't give a call even if you were in town? Maybe we have certain friends for all the wrong reasons… is that life? Is that just how it is?

I’m not quite sure what I’m trying to get at here but… maybe I just need to learn to just let it be…

LOVE.JULIA.

be here...NOW

After each session with Doron, I am left contemplating different aspects of life. One topic in particular that hit my realization today is to live in the present. Ok, that sounds really straight forward, but I’m not quite sure how exactly to say it so I’ll try and explain… the mind can be looked at as both a curse and a blessing, but you see, it is exactly my mind that is defining itself as a curse or blessing. Doron spoke to me of visualization, of myself walking and I was told not to associate good, happy or whatever other positive word with the action. I understood but was slightly baffled on the other hand ‘cause why wouldn't me walking be a magnificent thing?? Here’s the catch though! If walking on my own is ‘magnificent’, not walking on my own is absolutely terrible. That’s where Doron’s words of wisdom come into play, we have to live NOW, everything just IS.

I’m not quite sure how much of this made sense… but mind, shhhh I did my best to excrete your ramblings.

LOVE.JULIA.

Who?

So, god, I seem to refer to this dude? Thing? Person?, who knows. This ‘all powerful’, ‘father’, ‘creator of all’ seems to have been brought into existence by all these people who believe. This god fellow seems to get all the credit for miracles or any unexplainable phenomenon that happen to people, but do these people ever think, just maybe that all this power is right there, within themselves?

LOVE.JULIA.

I'M ALIVE

So, I made it! Yesterday was exactly a year since I was in a wreck that left me paralyzed from the neck down.
http://cbs5.com/local/Car.Crash.House.2.947343.html
I can’t help but feel as if there is some force pulling towards wreck… 3 days before the year mark that I was already dreading, a 18-wheeler truck got into our lane, smashed my wheelchair accessible ride and took off…




I guess getting in another accident doesn't cancel out the original injury…I thought maybe I could be like Joe from Family Guy who falls off the roof and regains function of his legs for an episode;)
This past year has been constant rehabilitation and hard work. I have been challenged both physically and spiritually and I am working hard to trust that everything is going to work out. Trusting myself to heal my injured spinal cord is testing my faith to the max.
“Sana sana sana
Culito de rana
Si no sana hoy sanara manana”
That's just a cute saying a friend told me which basically says, if it doesn't heal today, it will heal tomorrow.
I’m constantly reminded that without a positive attitude it is so much more difficult to move in a positive direction.

-Julia