i know.

Hope… this word has become a pretty frequent one since my accident. “There’s no hope of walking”, “there is hope of walking”, “we hope you’ll walk” and so on. As encouraging it might be to be told you have hope of accomplishing the seemingly impossible, how long is it before we need to transition from hoping to knowing?
Hope begins as such an optimistic word but eventually, with time, it becomes one of doubt and question. Like, you can only hope because you believe there is a chance of failure, a chance that the seemingly impossible won’t happen. How can the impossible even have the chance of manifesting if you do not absolutely believe, absolutely know that it will?!
Ok, so I don’t exactly know when you make the transition between hoping and knowing, but I think without it we’re stuck. Hope might be what gets you started or what keeps you going, but there comes a time when it’s no longer enough. I felt like while I was just hoping, I was somehow regretting every day I didn’t accomplish my goal of walking. These days I feel good, enjoying my days at mostly full energy. I figure it’s because I’m totally ok with where I am. Of course I want to walk, but right now, today, I am where I need to be. I KNOW that the day will come that I will walk and be independent so until then, I’m here, doing my best with no regrets…
I’m not sure how much sense this all made, but it was just… an idea.

LOVE.JULIA.