When marvelous days follow marvelous days I feel as though writing them devalues them in some way. No combination of words can recreate the feelings that were experienced during the day.

Often times we set goals for ourselves that take time hard work to attain. When these goals are met we are excited about this miracle. What gets us down though is that nothing huge and exciting happens all the time and those times are miserable because we don't see a huge change. I guess what I’m trying to get at is that it is only miserable if we choose to disregard all the little miracles that are constantly occurring around us. Doron spoke to me of how even recognizing how amazing it is that he can hop in a vehicle and steer the wheel to move it how he pleases is a miracle. After this I tried to be more aware, more grateful for each accomplishment, for each miracle.

Yesterday I was able to unzip my own jacket and took it off (it may have taken 10-15 minutes, it was an accomplishment nonetheless). A few days prior, I was able to drink soup out of a bowl by holding it in my own hands.




Gratitude for the little things makes hard life not so hard...

LOVE.JULIA.

let me sleep.

Mornings are the hardest. In my dreams I get to play the piano, run, swim, dance…even go to the bathroom on my own. In an instant, paralysis takes over as I am brought back to reality. Every morning feels like my body is being taken from me for the first time. Let me sleep; don't wake me from the reality I so badly want to be true.
I wish I could enjoy my sleep like this every night but of course a lot of nights I am left lying in bed, eyes wide open, forced to face the fact that I am to stay in whatever awkward position that my body spasms decide to throw me into. Breathe…that’s all I can do. My mind is what defines moments like these as ‘powerless’. ‘Just let me sleep…please’ are the words that occupy my head. My greatest challenge is not to walk but to silence my mind, and then not walking won’t be so bad.
Life…

LOVE.JULIA.

How can I not be attached to my intentions?

In the beginning of class, many times we bring the hands to the heart, and set an intention. I speak many times of having intentions, working on them but not being attached to the results.

Today Julia asked me, “How can I not be attached to my intentions?”
“What would an intention be?” I asked her and she replied “ Walking, playing the piano…”
These are more like Goals than intentions. Goals are good to have and it is mostly to the goals that we do not want to be attached.

When you set intentions, at a beginning of class or in life in general, it is best if you look for small actions you can do. So no more New Years resolutions, or lifetime resolutions, but smaller, short term actions. Examples may be, “I am setting an intention to practice meditation for 20 min every day for the next 2 weeks”, or “this week I intend to add 5 more minutes of breath work every day”. It might be “I intend on practicing more patience this weekend with my relative that is visiting.”

As you can see there is always a time frame. It is important to set this so we can follow through. It’s always possible to extend it when needed. These intentions are manageable, they are things that while may be difficult for you to do, you know you can do them. Intentions are form of actions (or non actions, like not reacting to the annoying response my friend will tell me); they are small manageable things that may add up to a bigger picture.

It‘s great to have the big picture in mind, but then you need to let it go. Enjoy the process; be with every moment of practice fully. Then one day, maybe the big picture, the goal, happens.

I would like to be enlightened. If this is my goal, and my intention, nothing will happen. I need to decide on this goal, find out what I need to do in order to get there, these are my intentions, and then allow the goal to sit aside, knowing that I might achieve it and may not, and either way is fine.

May all your intentions develop into the fulfillment of the big picture.
Love, Doron

Not taking it personally / about anger and projection

Jen was in tears.
Bob was complaining “ You just don’t do enough, I feel like you just don’t care anymore” His voice strong, a bit irritated.
“I am not sure what you mean”, Jen replied. “ I do all I can, I really always try and make sure you have dinner ready, I rush home from work…” Yes yes, but it seems to be like you are doing this cause you have to. There were times when it seemed to be more out of love”.
The conversation continued a while longer. It seemed that no matter what Jen’s reply was, Bob was not happy. He kept pushing and demanding.
This situation repeated over and over again. Jen consciously tried to see what she could do better. But it did not seem to matter. Bob just wasn’t happy.

At times the complaints or dissatisfaction of a person, are not necessarily completely related to what they are complaining about. Many times one might find, that there is a certain dissatisfaction in ones life, a frustration with a situation, something that causes irritability, and since the person might not be able to deal with it, they might find their release by “taking it out” on someone else.

In any situation when I am being “attacked”, I try to see what truth it holds for me. Then, if there is anything I can implement, change or learn from this, great, and if it seems that the person complaining is just not realizing that I am doing my best and it cannot be better than this, I try to find compassion; compassion towards the person that is unhappy with the situation.

It is extremely hard to be able to hear criticism and not take it personally. How can I not? They are speaking to me, even calling my name. The key word here is They. It is how they see things; maybe it’s true and maybe not. It is what they project on to me, and not necessarily what is.

If this is a situation that persists, I find that a talk is needed. Approaching with love and a sense of compassion. Maybe this person is suffering and that is why they keep criticizing me. I like to present my case as my own suffering. Instead of “you keep criticizing me unfairly”, I would state my feelings “I am feeling hurt and frustrated now, and would like to see if you could help me with this”. There is more likelihood that the person would be willing to listen, and even consider a change. They may need your help in the future with reminders. Do not fear speaking your truth. Speak gently and with kindness. Holding it in can only make it worse in the long run.

May the force be with You!
Love, Doron