At times...

I rarely feel defeated. There are not a lot of instances that remind me that I am, in fact paralyzed. This past Tuesday was a rare occurrence where Tommy (my caregiver/friend) didn’t hear his alarm and did not show up to drive me to physical therapy… it just happened to be that day that I decided to go down to the car on my own to wait for his arrival, which I later realized was not going to happen. I sat there helpless, waiting on the service of another person to get to where I needed to be. I am forced to face the fact that ultimately my actions depend on others. This is one of the few instances that made me feel defeated. It had been a while since I had felt the moist trickle of a tear down my cheek.

LOVE. JULIA.

...

After I pushed away from friends, I’ve found myself back, listening to everyone’s problems and how everything’s falling apart for them. My not-so-compassionate self had repelled all these people, a part of me thinking their problems were less than the obvious struggles I have, thinking what kind of nerve they had to confide in me their superficial problems. At the present time, I find myself humbled, appreciating the fact that they do not see my obvious surface struggle and open their hearts to me as no other than a friend, a person. I can see that no struggle is more or less than another; they are struggles whichever way you look at it.

LOVE.JULIA.