I am my own disaster, as much as I am my own masterpiece.

I originally thought to write to release some anger and throw a pity party for myself… I woke up this morning feeling hopeless. I have days like this where I lay in bed waiting to be seated in my electric wheelchair, imagining, wishing I could get up and get on with my day at my own will. But of course I, with the weight of my motionless body am left staring at the textured ceiling I become so familiar with. “Why must I endure a life of total dependency?” is one of the many thoughts that race through my mind.

Then, I am subtly reminded of the blessings in my life as my mother greets me, ready to take on another day of assisting me. I have a mother who has left behind her life in Japan without a moment of hesitation to devote her life to be my arms and legs for as long as I need her.

I must take this as a gift, a gift of time with my mother I had neglected all these years. I have been given an opportunity to create an unbreakable bond with the woman who gave me life. We are now both fighting for this life.

Yes, this is not the life I dreamed of, nor is it hers or anyone else’s for that matter, but this is the challenge that we have been faced with. We are left with no choice but to strive. We are our own disaster as much as we are our own masterpiece. Lets not dwell on the things we have been given no choice for… our minds are our own, how will you choose to feed it?

Happy Mother’s Day.

LOVE.JULIA.