Once upon a time...

La la lalaaaaaaa. Each day begins and ends with nothing memorable that happens, leaving no recollection of the days gone by. Every so often, though we are hit in the back of the head between the beginning and the end of the day that alters your whole universe. It’s almost like a time bomb whose fuse is a change in our actions and without that change… tick tick tick BOOM.

Prior to my ‘boom’, instability would probably be the best word to describe me and the life I lived, but lets just start at 6 months prior. This was the perfect example of flying in and out of days that have just become a blur. Work, school, work, play, work, school, work, play… a splash of petty female drama here and there and there you’ve got my blur. Life feels meaningless, it’s seizes to be life, but simply existence at this point. Before all this, I spent the summer with confidence; click clacking my high heals all over Tokyo, promoting myself as a model. My future seemed so bright but I lost track and got sucked into the tornado of the busy world. A handful of painkillers were supposed to do the trick but it turned out to be a pathetic attempt that left me with an unaffordable hospital bill. To be honest, if you were to ask me now why I did it, I wouldn't have any satisfying answer. I don't believe there is any explanation that anyone who has thought of death could give that another person would fully understand. No matter how insignificant the reason for the pain may seem, the pain itself is unchangeable.

A couple months of building myself back up took place until that day that altered my whole universe came along on February 28th, 2009. There aren’t many dates I remember. It hasn't been too many years since I remembered the birthdays of my family members. I experienced my own Big Bang that created my universe. Better yet, put me back into the universe. Until then, I fought the universe and it’s vibration of love, which I have been knocked right back into.

Will be continued…

LOVE.JULIA.