Not so positive..

This won't be a very positive post, but bare with me. Not everything I think of can can be peppy revelations of positivity. Here we go... When your body works, properly, a lot of your movements are automatic. You just DO. On the other hand when your body doesn't do anything you want it to, everything you do takes longer and requires calculation. It also requires the help of another person. This...is frustrating. There's really not much I am capable of that doesn't require all these things. Even something like pulling my shirt down in the bak... I'd go about it by waiting for someone to be available, ask for help, lean forward just enough to still be able to hold my balance and then have that person pull my shirt down for me. If there re things on the ground, I don't just pick them up and clear my way. I have no choice but to accept that I can no longer move along that path. Yes, so I'm feeling rather sorry for myself, but who doesn't every once in a while? When I'm in one of these moods I just can't but notice all the things I can't do... I look at a sign by the elevator that reads "Use stairs in case of fire" and I think "Oh, well hey, I guess in the case of a fire I'll just sit in my chair in a burning building". Or when I go out and look around at people running around, jumping, playing, or even simply putting on a jacket on their own....I'm envious. I just so want to be able to do all those things... Alright, enough of that! A more upbeat should follow. LOVE.JULIA